One of the parenting books that changed my life and perspective regarding my own kids, myself, and the children that I encounter in Kindermusik classes is Becky Bailey’s Easy to Love Difficult to Discipline. So when I found her book of fun and loving activities called “I Love You Rituals” I was more than excited to dig into it and to be inspired.

I Love You Rituals has more than 70 rhymes and games that send a love message to your children. The book focuses on building bonding rituals that only take a few minutes a day, rituals that “prime a child’s brain for learning, help children cope with change, enhance attention, cooperation, and self-esteem, and help busy families stay close.”

Many of the rhymes are reworked Mother Goose rhymes that send a positive message (rather than the often gruesome messages some Mother Goose rhymes bear!) and are clearly illustrated so that they’re easy to learn and easy to remember. A favorite of mine is “Jack be Noodle” which is said three times, using three different body parts in three different ways:

Jack be noodle, (hold child’s finger,hand, or arm, and make it loose and floppy)

Jack be stiff, (help the child make a stiff finger, hand, or arm)

Jack come over and hug me quick. (finger: lock fingers; hand: shake hands; arm: give hugs)

I also love the games in the book. The “Yes and No Game” is, as the book promises, a great game to play with a child who is a bit grumpy:

Preparation and Instructions: Tell the child, “When I say yes, you are to say no. You will copy how I speak exactly. If I say yes very loudly, you will say no very loudly.”

The Game: Begin by saying yes in your normal voice. Wait for the child to say no in his normal voice. If the child does not understand the game, model both the yes and the no for the child. Next, say yes in a high, squeaky voice and the child should say no in a high, squeaky voice. Change your voice, tone, and pitch (great vocal play, here!) as you continue the game. Make sure to exaggerate your facial expressions and sounds. You could also shake your head yes and the child, in response, would nod his head no. You can be just as silly as you want to be. You can say yes while you laugh, sneeze, hiccup, or cry.

This is also a fun game to play with other words, like “clean” and “messy” or “left” and “right.”

The book also has a good amount of soothing games that help to wind down the day. Including some of these relaxing games in your bedtime routine is a great way to say “I love you” in new ways. An example of a beautiful soothing game that is all about intentional touch and emotional bonding is “Goodnight Elbow”

The Game: Tell your child, “I am going to say goodnight to your ears, your hair, your forehead, your eyebrows, your shoulders, and your elbows.” Continue down the child’s body saying goodnight to as many parts as you choose. Each time you say goodnight to a body part, touch that part. Each touch involves a gentle massage, helping your child relax for a good night of sleep. Take your time. Use the time to relax as well by emptying your mind of clutter and being totally present with your child. Variation: Play “Wake-up Elbow” in the morning.

If you’re looking for more ways to bond with your child through games, intentional touch, and just plain playful parenting, you will not be disappointed with “I Love You Rituals.” Why not borrow it from the library and add some new rituals into your daily home activities?